I have sucidal thoughts all the time now..?

Sounds to me as though you are depressed, my sisters going though that right now so I now about this. Realizing you have a problem(like you did) is the first step. My sister is in Parkwood(a rehab/hospital) for depression/suicidal. Maybe you can either get therapy or if you feel its that bad maybe consider going to a hospital like Parkwood. But no matter what you do, DONT COMMIT SUICIDE. I may not know you, but think of your family, friends and how upset they will be. Don't listen to AGuyFromCleveland. It'll get better. (: